Comments on: The Suspension of Full Empathy while Taking a Family History

By: Bianca Castafiore

Bianca Castafiore — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:55:55 +0000

I’ve not a pithy thing to add except “welcome back.”

Until it was recently revealed, I never knew that my grandfather was an orphan. He gifted me with his glaucoma and love of gardening. He also, it turns out, beat his children.

Mom and Pop divorced when I was four, and we, oddly, stayed with Dad. I know little of her.

And so, I have always invented my Family Medical History, choosing lovelier fictions.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 19:17:42 +0000

I’ve heard that the impact of anything you say before the word “but” is lost. The statement could be even better if worded this way:

“So… Your mother died at 53 of breast cancer, and your father died at 72 of colon cancer. I’m sorry. That must have been really hard for you. With this information we should pay particular attention to breast and colon cancer screening, and talk about preventative strategies.”

By: geetha

geetha — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 11:45:38 +0000

Well said, Greg.

By: WWWebb

WWWebb — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 20:21:20 +0000

Stalin is reputed to have said that one death is a tragedy, a million deaths, a statistic.

By: Greg P

Greg P — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 00:04:01 +0000

I think you can immerse yourself in the experience of the grieving family without outwardly grieving. After my patient is gone, I see the family has now become my patient, collectively. Most of the good you can do is to remain, to not leave the room after you recount the science and offer some trite, terse phrase about how sorry you are. You’re not there for a condensed version of the grieving process that you can spit out to tell everyone the stages they’re going to go through.
You can look for those who are not handling it well, and try to offer some heloful interaction, let them ventilate, let them sob like they’re not going to stop, and just let them.
Eventually, you can tell when it’s Ok to leave, not because you have something more important to do, but because your presence is no longer needed.

By: hat_eater

hat_eater — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 22:11:44 +0000

I have always – if in retrospect – appreciated the effort of the doctors who have both the empathy and the willpower to control the influence it has on their displayed emotions. When announcing the worst news to my mother – first about her husband’s, our father’s, untimely and sudden death, then three years later about her mother’s departure, our family doctor who was also a friend to us all did it in a very straightforward way, using as few words as possible to convey the message. She was there for us to lean on, she did feel the pain, but she did not show it.

By: Cheryl Fuller

Cheryl Fuller — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 21:56:50 +0000

What a lovely way of expressing how to thread that needle. Thank you.

By: chairman meow

chairman meow — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 17:19:49 +0000

The healthy detachment vs. empathy reminds me of a song…

A billion people died on the news tonight
But not so many cried at the terrible sight
Well mama said
It’s just make believe
You can’t believe everything you see
So baby close your eyes to the lullabies
On the news tonight
Who’s the one to decide that it would be alright
To put the music behind the news tonight
Well mama said
You can’t believe everything you hear
The diegetic world is so unclear
So baby close your ears
On the news tonight
On the news tonight
The unobtrusive tones on the news tonight
And mama said
Mmm
Why don’t the newscasters cry when they read about people who die
At least they could be decent enough to put just a tear in their eyes
Mama said
It’s just make believe
You cant believe everything you see
So baby close your eyes to the lullabies
On the news tonight

Jack Johnson – The News lyrics