Comments on: Caring for the Patient Who Is a Zombie https://theexaminingroom.com/2010/05/caring-for-the-patient-who-is-a-zombie/ A physician's commentary on current issues in medicine, clinical research, health and wellness. Tue, 11 May 2010 00:44:28 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.3 By: Val Erde https://theexaminingroom.com/2010/05/caring-for-the-patient-who-is-a-zombie/comment-page-1/#comment-938 Tue, 11 May 2010 00:44:28 +0000 https://theexaminingroom.com/?p=731#comment-938 Hmmm… personally I’d think that the safest thing would be to wear a Hannibal Lector mask so that should your zombie patient try to bite off your head (to get to your brain, all assuming someone hasn’t already and you’ve just not noticed) all s/he will get is a mouthful of metal. Then it’s off to the dentist for the zombie and another buck passed!

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By: Maria https://theexaminingroom.com/2010/05/caring-for-the-patient-who-is-a-zombie/comment-page-1/#comment-934 Mon, 10 May 2010 16:36:29 +0000 https://theexaminingroom.com/?p=731#comment-934 Wow!

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By: Michelle W https://theexaminingroom.com/2010/05/caring-for-the-patient-who-is-a-zombie/comment-page-1/#comment-932 Mon, 10 May 2010 15:26:13 +0000 https://theexaminingroom.com/?p=731#comment-932 Anecdotal evidence supports that reading this article while listening to Jonathan Coulton’s “Re: Your Brains ” may lead to health care benefits only for zombies, but health-field bloggers due to increased endorphin production and large smiling. Finding common ground is the first step toward reaching this largely misunderstood and grossly underrepresented member of the health system. Please join your nearest CAZS ( Coalation for the Advancement of Zombies in Society, pronounced “Kha-Ziz”) branch to help with this important mission.

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By: Danimal https://theexaminingroom.com/2010/05/caring-for-the-patient-who-is-a-zombie/comment-page-1/#comment-931 Mon, 10 May 2010 14:38:18 +0000 https://theexaminingroom.com/?p=731#comment-931 Excellent article, doc. However, I don’t see a single footnote or reference to a journal article. These are the days of evidence-based medicine: where are the studies showing that this advice is useful?

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By: Wren https://theexaminingroom.com/2010/05/caring-for-the-patient-who-is-a-zombie/comment-page-1/#comment-928 Sun, 09 May 2010 23:05:36 +0000 https://theexaminingroom.com/?p=731#comment-928 Wonderful! I can’t wait to learn about the clinical exam and care of your garden-variety ninja …
Thanks for the chuckles, Dr. Charles!

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By: micah https://theexaminingroom.com/2010/05/caring-for-the-patient-who-is-a-zombie/comment-page-1/#comment-927 Sun, 09 May 2010 14:04:01 +0000 https://theexaminingroom.com/?p=731#comment-927 Care should be taken to avoid misdiagnosis! Depressed, withdrawn teens, the elderly after too much ambien, and post-call health workers can present similarly (head down, slow shuffle, grunting or moaning, with varying degrees of poor hygiene).

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By: Kendra https://theexaminingroom.com/2010/05/caring-for-the-patient-who-is-a-zombie/comment-page-1/#comment-926 Sun, 09 May 2010 13:10:34 +0000 https://theexaminingroom.com/?p=731#comment-926 I hate using the phrase “laughed out loud.” However, I did in fact do so. Thanks for my morning chuckle!

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By: Greg P https://theexaminingroom.com/2010/05/caring-for-the-patient-who-is-a-zombie/comment-page-1/#comment-925 Sun, 09 May 2010 02:16:41 +0000 https://theexaminingroom.com/?p=731#comment-925 Caution! Caution! Caution!

You may think that gowns, gloves, face guards and such are adequate protection, but regardless of these, you must never, NEVER, EVER turn your back on a zombie at any time, or the next thing you’ll know they will be gnawing away at your gluteus maximus.

Some prep before the visit: Make sure your ventilation system and its exhaust ports allow for the most efficient removal of the various offending odors you will encounter. Probably best to schedule your zombie as the last patient of the day, though that having been said, even if you don’t, it probably will be your last patient of the day for various reasons. Have some nose plugs handy, in the event that mouth-breathing becomes ineffectual. Some find that a suitable dose of an antiemetic before the visit may reducing retching, though to my knowledge there are no studies on this as prophylaxis.
Adequate cleaning and recleaning (and the occasional rerecleaning) of the exam room is of the utmost importance. I believe that there some tentative plans by GE Healthcare to market a so-called “self-cleaning” exam room, modeled after self-cleaning ovens, in which high temperatures incinerate any residue (and believe me, there will be residue) left behind. If you do get one of these, remember to remove the zombie prior to switching on the self-cleaning system, otherwise you will run afoul (sic) of various EPA (and maybe FAA) regulations.

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By: Sir Hubert Ignatius Thompson https://theexaminingroom.com/2010/05/caring-for-the-patient-who-is-a-zombie/comment-page-1/#comment-924 Sun, 09 May 2010 01:03:43 +0000 https://theexaminingroom.com/?p=731#comment-924 Thank you for your insight
I admit that the management of Zombies can be challenging, and your review goes a long way towards outlining a simple yet effective primary care management plan. However more work needs to be done to understand the complex pharmacological interactions that critical care management of the Zombie entails.
To this end I hope to see further development of drug interaction guidelines building on the original works in the field by Harvard ethnobotanist Wade Davis
(Reference: “The Serpent and the Rainbow” and ‘The Ethnobiology of the Haitian Zombie”)
I would like to see these potentially significant pharmacological ramifications included in future posts pertaining to Ninjas, Pirates and Vikings
Yours
Sir Hubert Ignatius Thompson

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By: Rlbates https://theexaminingroom.com/2010/05/caring-for-the-patient-who-is-a-zombie/comment-page-1/#comment-922 Sat, 08 May 2010 23:04:13 +0000 https://theexaminingroom.com/?p=731#comment-922 Very good reminders. 🙂

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